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For those MotoGP who live a rich life on the internet, you probably already know what I am referring to in this story’s headline, but for those of you who prefer to live your lives in the real world, I will give a quick primer to this off-season MotoGP story. Late last week, Monster Energy’s “Dirt Shark” video series featured Jorge Lorenzo’s home in Barcelona, Spain on its website and Monster’s YouTube channel.

The “Dirt Shark” show is a bit more “MTV Cribs” than it is “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” in its approach. It only focuses on Monster’s sponsored athletes, and aims to glamorize their homes and lifestyles — along with an obligatory shot of their Monster-chocked refrigerator. However, the video on Lorenzo’s house appeared briefly on Monster Energy’s YouTube channel, as well as on DirtShark.com, before it was taken down.

It was removed because of harsh criticism in Spain for its showing, though it’s not clear if Lorenzo asked for it to be removed, or it Monster buckled to the public pressure — it’s probably a little bit of both, and frankly doesn’t really matter.

It didn’t take long though for low-quality web-rips of the video to circulate through social media sites though, and beyond Lorenzo’s stunning vistas, immensely large gym (where he says he works out three to four hours a day), the video is littered with young women tanning by Lorenzo’s pool, lounging in his hot tubs, and dancing in his miniature discotheque (so awkward).

One of the two final missing pieces of the 2014 MotoGP line up has been filled in. Today, the Paul Bird Motorsport team announced it would be back in MotoGP next season, with a two-rider team and additional help from Aprilia.

The two riders will be Michael Laverty, who rode for Paul Bird’s PBM team in 2013, and Broc Parkes, who has spent most of his career racing in World Supersport and World Superbikes.

Though the press release issued stated that the team will be racing ‘PBM Aprilias’, it is still uncertain exactly what Laverty and Parkes will be riding.

Alberto Puig is to take on a new role inside Honda. Brought into HRC as advisor to Dani Pedrosa, the former 500cc race winner is now to focus his efforts more on talent development for Honda, starting with the Asia Talent Cup.

Puig has a long and very successful history of spotting and developing talent. The Spaniard was the driving force behind the MotoGP Academy, the forerunner of Red Bull Rookies Cup, and before that, had worked with Telefonica Movistar in the Spanish championship.

That work had produced a string of highly successful riders in various classes, including several world champions. Alongside Dani Pedrosa, Puig was responsible for Casey Stoner, Julian Simon, Bradley Smith, Joan Lascorz, and Leon Camier.

Yamaha’s MotoGP team looks set to gain another sponsor for 2014. According to the PU24.it website – the same website which broke the news of Rossi’s decision to drop Jeremy Burgess – sportswear manufacturer Adidas is set to sponsor the factory Yamaha team of Valentino Rossi and Jorge Lorenzo next season.

The deal is said to be part of a larger contract, which will involve the Team Sky VR46 Moto3 squad as well. The deal appears mainly aimed at the Italian market: according to the PU24 website, one of the benefits for Adidas will be better visibility for its ads on the Sky Italia channel, which will be broadcasting MotoGP in Italy next year, and which is also a co-sponsor of Valentino Rossi’s Team Sky VR46 Moto3 squad.

The deal is rumored to be a two-year contract, though how much money is involved is currently unknown.

Marc Marquez has been back briefly to the operating theater today, where he has undergone surgery to improve his breathing. The reigning world champion was admitted to the Dexeus hospital in Barcelona, where he had an operation to correct a deviated septum, which had hampered his breathing through his nose.

Marquez is one of a few riders who uses the nasal plaster strips to keep the nostrils open (see photo above). These strips are said to aid breathing through the nose, and with Marquez suffering a deviated septum, he may have had some benefit from the strips.

For our American readers, it is time to get back in the swing of things from the long Thanksgiving weekend; and for our non-American readers, well…the last few days must have been pretty boring for you (especially for our Canadian readers, who are probably still baffled about why we Americans celebrate Thanksgiving over a month late).

Anyhoo, it is Monday here at Asphalt & Rubber HQ, and while we let the caffeine soak into our veins, we have some high-energy content to help you get going at the workplace job thing. First up is a little video from Suzuki, which has just concluded its 2013 MotoGP testing schedule.

It is mostly just motorcycle porn for racing fans, but to our knowledge the video is the first time that Suzuki has publicly acknowledged its inline-four cylinder engine design for its XRH-1 MotoGP test bike. Suzuki will be back testing in 2014, with Randy de Puniet now solely committed to test-riding the machine for the Japanese OEM.

High on the team’s list is getting its race program to work on only 20 liters of fuel, as well as switching from Suzuki’s current Mitsubishi-designed ECU to the spec-ECU supplied by Dorna and built by Magneti Marelli. Neither task is an easy one as Suzuki gears up for its 2015 return to Grand Prix motorcycle racing.

Valentino Rossi has acknowledged he is one step closer to retirement. In an interview to be broadcast Italian TV channel Mediaset, the Italian said that the early tests and the first six races of 2014 would be crucial to the future of his career.

“In 2014 I need to be at the front, closer to the first three,” Rossi said, referring to the Spanish trio of Marc Marquez, Jorge Lorenzo and Dani Pedrosa, who dominated the 2013 MotoGP season.

He has not lost his appetite for racing, Rossi told Italian TV, but he was not content just to circulate. “I would like to continue for another couple of years, but only if I’m competitive.”

It’s been a busy time for motorcycle racing in the south of Spain. With the winter test ban about to commence, and now in force for both MotoGP and World Superbikes, the teams are heading south to get some development work done while they still can.

For the World Superbike and MotoGP Open class teams, their destination is Jerez, while Moto2 and Moto3 are at Almeria, in Spain’s southeastern corner.

At Jerez, Suzuki has just wrapped up a test, and Yakhnich Motorsport are taking the MV Agusta F4RR out for its first spin. The Jerez test was Eugene Laverty’s first opportunity to ride the Suzuki GSX-R1000, after the Irishman had signed for the Crescent Suzuki team, who have swapped title sponsors from Fixi to Voltcom.

Every year Valentino Rossi competes in the Monza Rally Show in Italy, and The Doctor does quite well for himself at the event — he was the winner of the rally at last year’s event. For 2014, Rossi found himself on the podium once again, scoring a second place finish with his VR46 team and Carlo Cassina as his co-driver.

Rossi & Co. were bested by WRC’s Dani Sordo and his rally-spec Citroen, though to be fair, Rossi himself had a works Ford at his disposal. Perhaps too many wheels, the event is a fun end to The Doctor’s racing season, as the nine-time World Champion enjoys competition in a variety of forms. For those wondering, Uccio finished ninth.

“For me this is one of the highlights of the year – I get to race against my friends and there is very little pressure to perform,” said Rossi. “It is a shame that I didn’t get the overall wins today but I’m proud of four stage wins which is incredible for me. And I get to see all of the fans from rally and MotoGP which is great.  I’m coming back next year!”

Though most of the contracts were settled some time ago, there were still a few question marks on the 2014 MotoGP grid. The official entry list released by the FIM today answers some of those questions, but the answers it gives may yet turn out to be wrong.

The list features 11 entries to be run under the Factory rules, which means 20 liters of fuel, 5 engines per season and the freedom to use proprietary software on the spec Magneti Marelli ECU. The remain 13 bikes will be run as Open entries, which gives them 24 liters of fuel and 12 engines per season, but forces them to use the Dorna-controlled spec software on the Magneti Marelli ECU.

The 2014 season looks set to follow the pattern established in 2013, with Marc Marquez, Dani Pedrosa and Jorge Lorenzo likely to dominate.

Of interest is the fact that Marc Marquez has been entered with number 93, rather than the number 1 which the world champion is allowed to use, but this may yet change before the start of the season. Marquez would dearly like to retain 93, but Honda is keen to see him run the number 1 plate.