April Fools: IRS Makes Helmets Tax Deductible on 2014 Return

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If you’ve already filed your 2014 tax return, you might want to make an addendum before April 15th, as the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has made several last-minute exemption to the US Tax Code, one of which allows motorcyclists to claim up to $500 on a new helmet purchase as tax deductible.

The move comes about after a report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released a study that suggested billions of dollars could be saved if all motorcyclists wore helmets.

Citing the efforts of groups like the  American Motorcyclist Association (AMA) whose anti-helmet political agenda has resonated the most with the same anti-tax libertarians who routinely fail to pay federal income taxes, the IRS has finally decided to fight fire with fire, and believes it has effectively found a way to bring a non-compliant tax group in line with the law.

“The CDC made a compelling argument in its research, there is no debating that,” said an IRS Special Agent who would only go by the name Smith. “We honestly don’t understand why anyone in this day in age would continue to preach what is obviously bad politics.”

“This is of course outside the scope of the IRS,” he continued. “But as financial institution for the federal government, we can look at both sides of the ledger on a number of issues, and under our new directive from the Obama administration, we will begin to promote socially positive behavior through tax incentives.”

Special Agent Smith acknowledged that the IRS had other last-minute tax incentives ready to promote what the IRS deemed “socially positive” behavior, such as tax write-offs for carbon monoxide detectors, cars with automated driving features like brake-assist, and purchases of activity-monitoring devices like FitBit or the new Apple Watch.

The most surprising change however comes for Republican couples, who can deduct thousands of dollars from their tax return if they make a pledge not to procreate — a tax deduction that can span up to 10 years, we might add.

“Yeah, that one started out mostly as a dare to see what we could get away with, but then it really started to make sense the more we thought about it,” chuckled Special Agent Smith. “Thanks Obama.”

Source: IRS