If you’ve already filed your 2014 tax return, you might want to make an addendum before April 15th, as the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has made several last-minute exemption to the US Tax Code, one of which allows motorcyclists to claim up to $500 on a new helmet purchase as tax deductible.

The move comes about after a report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released a study that suggested billions of dollars could be saved if all motorcyclists wore helmets.

Citing the efforts of groups like the  American Motorcyclist Association (AMA) whose anti-helmet political agenda has resonated the most with the same anti-tax libertarians who routinely fail to pay federal income taxes, the IRS has finally decided to fight fire with fire, and believes it has effectively found a way to bring a non-compliant tax group in line with the law.

“The CDC made a compelling argument in its research, there is no debating that,” said an IRS Special Agent who would only go by the name Smith. “We honestly don’t understand why anyone in this day in age would continue to preach what is obviously bad politics.”

“This is of course outside the scope of the IRS,” he continued. “But as financial institution for the federal government, we can look at both sides of the ledger on a number of issues, and under our new directive from the Obama administration, we will begin to promote socially positive behavior through tax incentives.”

Special Agent Smith acknowledged that the IRS had other last-minute tax incentives ready to promote what the IRS deemed “socially positive” behavior, such as tax write-offs for carbon monoxide detectors, cars with automated driving features like brake-assist, and purchases of activity-monitoring devices like FitBit or the new Apple Watch.

The most surprising change however comes for Republican couples, who can deduct thousands of dollars from their tax return if they make a pledge not to procreate — a tax deduction that can span up to 10 years, we might add.

“Yeah, that one started out mostly as a dare to see what we could get away with, but then it really started to make sense the more we thought about it,” chuckled Special Agent Smith. “Thanks Obama.”

Source: IRS

  • Jim

    Next year, when deciding if you should write an April Fools column, please resist the urge.

  • Mike

    Could have guessed it was Jensen, always a politically left tilt, so sad when A&R doesn’t represent everyone who enjoys motorcycles.

  • dum

    This is dum

  • Bruce Steever

    So sad, indeed, when Jensen expresses his opinions on a site he built himself.

  • Bruce Steever

    You are dum.

  • Sorry for partying?

  • I see what you did there Bruce.

  • Jake F.

    Because it’s so challenging to find a motorcycling group espousing the views of the political right.

  • Jake F.

    Even though this is a joke, it’s not a half-bad idea!

  • Dubknot

    Good one. It’s really not that bad of an idea though….

  • sburns2421

    The way things are going, the law put in place would be that you would be fined $250 at the end of the year if you didn’t buy a helmet, even if your state doesn’t require them.

  • MrDefo

    It’s a fine to not wear your seatbelt, so is it such a far leap that next it will be a fine to wear helmets?

  • Spamtasticus

    April Fools aside.

    Libertarian = Person who wants a government that is run based on the Constitution of the United States of America and with good fiduciary practices ( don’t waste our money with mismanagement and corruption ).

    Libertarian Not = Racist
    Libertarian Not = Religious zealot
    Libertarian Not = Anti All Taxes
    Libertarian Not = Anarchist
    Libertarian Not = Republican

    The fact that many press hacks find Libertarians that are Racist, or Religious, zealots, or Anti all Taxes, or Anarchists, or Republicans, and then paint all libertarians as those individuals is just lazy and sensationalist journalism. That is equivalent to calling all muslims suicidal bombing radicals or all Democrats little children who want a mommy taking care of them, due to the actions or beliefs of some in that group.

    In plain words, a libertarian is someone who believes that the government should not overstep the authority that we the people have granted it via the constitution and that they should be left alone to live their lives as they see fit so long as it does not hurt others. FYI that is practically the same formal definition of Liberal.

    /Steps off organic soap box

  • DarthDisney

    You may say that, but reality doesnt agree with you. Libertarians are almost entirely naive morons.

  • Spamtasticus

    Please elaborate. I’m all ears.

  • Spamtasticus
  • Spamtasticus

    “almost entirely”? How did you come to this conclusion? Have you met most of us? Is there a study you have conducted or read? Or are you just formulating an opinion based on what the press has found fit to show you plus one or two people you have met? I ask because your statement is rather broad and conclusive. I specially like the use of “naive”.

  • Piglet2010

    Try ≠.

  • DZ

    I can guarantee that when a smart libertarian eats it on his motorcycle, exercising his “right” to not wear a helmet and not have health insurance, the said libertarian will NOT refuse health care for his traumatic brain injury. That health care will run from hundreds of thousands of dollars to millions if he ends up spending decades in a hospital bed as a vegetable. Of course that hospital bill will be picked up by the rest of us either via medicare / medicaid or by increased medical cost. So by doing so the said libertarian goes directly against “live their lives as they see fit so long as it does not hurt other” because it does hurt everyone.

  • Spamtasticus

    Magic! ≠

    I’m embarrassed to say although I have been using it in coding for decades. I had no clue it existed in ascii

  • Piglet2010


  • Piglet2010

    I would rather vote for the Libertine Party. ;)

  • Ayabe

    Guess you’ll just have to don your pirate gear and putt off into the sunset – One Man’s Journey to Escape the Butthurt.