Australian Harley-Davidson dealer, Rocky Harley-Davidson, recently released some new videos on the internet to help promote their bar & shield apparel. After all, one can’t merely ride a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, you have to have the appropriate clothing to fit your motorcycle lifestyle. The following is a loose interpretation of what the script looked like for one of those videos.

In our first scene, we see the protagonist dismount his thundering stead, with his Harley-Davidson shirt blazing like a forest fire. Confidently he walks by a bevy of women. Blonde, brunette, red head, it doesn’t matter…they are all powerless to resist the swagger and sex appeal that oozes from his cotton threads. These women are like deer in the headlights, waiting to be hit by his freight train of masculinity. This man, nay…God..walks down the street with his sunglasses firmly on at all times, keeping his gaze under control lest he fire laser from them at his next female victim, just like Cyclops from X-Men. Why? Because he’s seriously dangerous. Check the real thing after the jump, and yes…even a bonus video for the ladies.

Source: TopSpeed

  • gildas

    My butt is chaffed to leathery pleasure. Or it would be if HD was sexy to me.

  • dublwhut

    Your average harley rider is so fat, they couldn’t even find a shirt that fit correctly on the guy?

  • Not Interested

    What a bunch of BS. First of all a person that young would not be interested in a Harley but then isn’t that HD’s main product – clothes. There aging line of bikes take 2nd place to there clothing and aftermarket products. Of course that is why Harley wants to sell you a bike. Then you will sucker for all there aftermarket crap. Maybe HD should spend more time and money on there aging line of bikes than selling non motorcycles related crap.

  • All BS

    That is BS: 90% of Harley riders are over 50, tattooed, beer belly, long haired pony tail, no teeth and a felon and like to dress up like a pirate.

  • giova

    the comercials are lame. they suck!!

  • Not Interested in HD

    Harley’s suck big time. They call there bike a “Sportster” ? What is Sportster about a overweight bike with only 67 horsepower? Or how about the Fat Bob or Nightster? More lame names for a lame product that only sells an image with no performance. Of course the morons who buy a Harley are immature and insecure people that think a loud motorcycle will get them some much needed attention.

  • All BS says:
    “90% of Harley riders are over 50, tattooed, beer belly, long haired pony tail, no teeth and a felon and like to dress up like a pirate.”

    90%? Really? I’ve been riding since 1968 and must have somehow missed all these toothless pirate felons.

    Actual statistics indicate that the average Harley owner is far more affluential than the average Honda owner (or owners of any other oriental brand).

    The current Harley fad, which is thankfully drawing to a close, has admittedly produced a whole new subculture of fake “bikers” who are in no way representative of real motorcyclists.

    Don’t judge all Harley owners by these fadsters. They weren’t on two wheels ten years ago and they won’t be on two wheels ten years from now.

    Regardless of which brand one owns, when all is said and done, nothing else counts except the odometer reading.

    PS ~ For those who weren’t around in 1957, the 883 Sportster was so named because it was the fastest production motorcycle in the world.

  • @Todd8080

    And there lies Harley’s problem. A company who has a rich racing heritage, who realizes that their “market” is aging, and to bring newer riders into the fold they’re going to have to buck “tradition” and risk losing their core customers to add a bit more power and sport to their bikes.

    Funny thing is …as you know … Harley has a long performance heritage that they buried so deep it’s like it didn’t exist in the first place.

  • All motorcycle manufacturers are experiencing poor sales right now, not just Harley. Some are doing far worse.

    Everyone seems stuck on the topic of Harley’s aging customer base. Of course it’s aging, so is everyone else’s. Next year all one-year-olds will be two. It’s called the passage of time.

    Does anyone honestly believe that the world will somehow run out of adults? New ones come along every day and always will.

    When children mature enough to realize motorcycles are for riding instead of doing little tricks they start appreciating motorcycles designed for grownups. Usually the first time they try to go on a trip of any appreciable distance it dawns on them that they’re actually riding a toy instead of a real motorcycle.

    That’s when they begin to see the value of a Harley.

    The Motor Company has been through much, much tougher times and continued to survive – far longer than any others.

    In the last decade Harley sold more Twin Cam models than all Evos, Shovelheads, Panheads, Knuckleheads and Flatheads combined. They sold more motorcycles last month than during any entire year of the [real] Great Depression. By a long shot.

    The only people soiling their panties about Harley’s future are those who own shares that once produced money out of thin air. Boo hoo, try working for a living.

  • Andy O

    Both ads are terrible.

    I guess HD and the people selling their products are going to beat this dead horse until it turns to dust.
    I cant help feel a bit sorry for the losers who shell out the ridiculous prices for these antiques feeling they are gonna be bad dudes by branding themselves HD.

    As for-

    ‘ That’s when they begin to see the value of a Harley.’

    I wouldn’t recommend using the word value and Harley in the same sentence,
    You just make yourself look stupid.

    ps. ‘affluential’ in not a real word, you made it up, you must mean affluent.
    There you go making yourself look stupid again.

  • Affluential most assuredly is a word. Just type it into,,,, etc.

    Gee, I guess that makes you the stupid one, Andy.

    So Harley owners are losers? My, aren’t we liberal with the namecalling?

    No, a loser is someone who sends American dollars overseas in exchange for brightly colored plastic that will be rotting in a junkyard within five years. A loser is someone who eagerly sells his own country down the river for a worthless oriental trinket. A loser is someone who’s constantly looking for new ways to betray the American worker.

    I personally know of many, many Harleys that are over half a century old and still in daily use. The number of fifty-year-old Japanese motorcycles in use of any kind is around zero.

    You can get any parts necessary for just about any Harley of any year, including pre-war Knuckleheads and Flatheads. Frames, motor cases, cylinders, lights, fenders, tanks, wheels, you name it, brand new and in the box. Good luck finding new parts for a ten-year-old Asian motorcycle. What good is a vehicle that can’t be repaired or even maintained?

    If you check motorcycle junkyards anywhere in the world, you’ll find they’re all piled high with the carcasses of late-model oriental motorcycles. But if you ever, EVER see a Harley in a junkyard, buy it quickly because it’s there by mistake.

    And if you check the classified ads, used motorcycle dealers or Kelley Blue Book you’ll find without exception that decade after decade Harleys hold their value like no other brand, period. Always have and always will. V-A-L-U-E.

    Any other lessons you feel like teaching today, Andy?

  • Gringo Viejo

    Triumph is a year older than H-D and growing like a weed. The new bikes are rock solid with a great blend of old (the Bonnies, the Thruxton cafe racer and the Scrambler) and New stuff like the Daytona, Speed triple and the out there Rocket 3. The new Tiger 1050 is a fantastic ride. This is a model H-D should look to.

  • “Triumph is a year older than H-D and growing like a weed.”

    The name Triumph is certainly old, but they’ve changed hands and locations so many times it’s easy to question their brand legitimacy, especially since all they make now are copies of Jap bikes (talk about role reversal) and they, like Indian, actually ceased production.

    Harley had some rough times they but never stopped making motorcycles and never left Milwaukee.

  • Ryan

    Not to fan the flames, Todd8080, but technically an abacus will last a lot longer than a calculator, but it’s still outdated and ridiculously slow. I don’t believe anyone will argue that HD is American or old. What bothers me, though, is that the only selling point of a Harley is the fact that it’s American. They never update anything except their apparel, and rely on Viagra Poppers to keep buying their stuff.

    You seemed to enjoy you gloating over knowing the word “affluential”, but failed to realize your entire argument is based on a ridiculouslty apparent racial bias. Jap bikes? Oriental trinkets? Motorcycles should always be about performance, no matter the origin.

    Also, did you know that not every offshore bike is a rocket? Who’da thunk? Rather than trying to mock the “toys” that perform better than HD in every category, perhaps you should try and prevent Harley from making “toys” like trikes and Harley branded pickups… Oh wait…

  • Spoken like a true Harley hater. First of all, no two years of any model of Harley are the same. They are constantly improved and updated every single year and always have been. Only a hater wouldn’t know that.

    See, Harley’s forte isn’t coming out with a different whizz-bang motor/frame combo every couple of years, which makes all past parts not only instantly obsolete but also hard to find in a few short years.

    Instead they continuously improve and refine existing products, making radical changes only in ten-to-twenty year intervals (Knucklehead, Panhead, Shovelhead, etc.). Even then many components remain interchangable between different years and models. Very, very convenient.

    As far as performance goes, a Harley Big Twin has more torque at idle than many oriental bikes do at redline. All that torque means you’re not constantly shifting so you can relax and enjoy the ride.

    And unlike 300-pound plastic bikes, Harleys aren’t blown all over the road by crosswinds. My Harley will easily go twice any speed limit in my state, why on earth would anyone want to ride faster than that?

    But riding really isn’t what buyers of plastic bikes are interested in, is it? Their idea of “motorcycling” is doing childish tricks, not actually going somewhere. They’re more akin to skateboarders than motorcyclists.

    I’d gladly race any crotch rocket from one end of the country to the other for pink slips because I can ride all day and then some on my Harley. Thousand-mile days are nothing to me.

    My passengers always seem pretty happy, too, unlike the passengers I see precariously perched on plastic oriental wheelie toys who look like they can’t wait to dismount and call their chiroprator.

    Concerning trikes, lots of manufacturers make trikes, not just Harley. I’d prefer a sidecar if the need should arise, but so far I’m fine on two wheels. Concerning me preventing Harley from making trucks, well, here you’re just flaunting your ignorance of the Motor Company once more. Harley doesn’t make trucks.

    “Racial bias”: You’re confusing race with nationality. I support the United States of America, not some country halfway around the world that I’ve never even seen. That would be ludicrous.

    “Gloating over knowing the word ‘affluential’: Hey, you’re the one who made a big deal about it. Turns out you’re wrong about a lot of stuff.

  • BlacKawk

    Hey Todd8080,

    Glad to see someone else cares about odo readings. My 2007 KLR650 clicked over 32000mi around a week ago and is still pulling quite strong, thanks very much. I’m quite happy with my black plastic trinket. It’s gotten me to both ends of the west coast and I’m sure will get me out to the east coast before I retire it at perhaps 75-100k. I’m not sure I’ve seen any recent Harleys with odo readings over 10k. Not that I look that carefully, the places I ride most often are pretty unfriendly to HD’s style of bike. Mainly because they’re filled with rocks, dirt, and creek crossings. Too bad no “American” motorcycle company (wait, what’s that I hear? Harley sources out-of-country parts as well? You need both metric AND fractional wrenches to work on the things? I hear some of them even use the same Japanese-made Keihin carb MY bike does!) builds a dualsport that I can get my hands on out here in California for a reasonable price.

    I’m even happier that I have spent less than 10k on a bike that just keeps on giving and giving…It has its warts and soft spots, but at least that’s all stuff I can fix at home on my own time, and the bike’s not subject to recalls with numbers in the six digits. Take a look in the “Top 5 Related Posts” below the article:

    I’m not a “Harley Hater” as you so proudly deem those who don’t agree with your viewpoint. I just question H-D’s usefulness and relevance, and the appeal of having a 1940’s-tech farm tractor motor between one’s legs. And to be honest, I never could understand the aesthetic either. Maybe it’s because I prefer riding my bike to polishing it. And prefer my bikes quiet.

    Oh, and all the claptrap about foreign “betraying the American worker” is a load of bull. How is it HD keeps ending up having to manage through big worker strikes? Why did they have to recently lay off 3200 workers? There are plenty of American companies who didn’t have to lay anyone off during the recession—don’t go trying to blame that on anything but bad management. I suspect that that sort of analysis is out of your depth though.

    Regardless, I’m glad you’re happy with your bike. Enjoy the slow ride into the sunset!

  • BlacKawk, for someone who claims not to be a Harley hater those are some mighty pejorative terms.

    Congratulations on going 32,000 miles. That’s over 10,000 miles a year, possibly a new record for an oriental motorcycle. How proud you must be. Shooting for 75K-100K before disposing of it seems extremely optimistic, though.

    By comparison, my Harley’s approaching the quarter-million mile mark and still going strong. I have no plans (and no need) to ever dispose of it.

    You claim that you haven’t seen more than 10,000 miles on the odometers of recent Harleys. Are you in the habit of hotwiring strangers’ motorcycles? Because without the ignition being turned on you won’t see the mileage of any Harley made since the mid-Nineties. Or do you ask random Harley owners to turn on their ignition to show you their mileage? I’m curious as to how you got these readings.

    Concerning Harley’s woeful and highly regrettable practice of using certain oriental parts on their products, they pretty much didn’t have any choice. After the disloyal Americans sent all their money overseas to bankroll Japan’s motorcycle & auto industries in the Seventies, American companies who once made the parts for American vehicles couldn’t compete with the Japanese vendors’ prices, since the Japanese had virtually no R&D costs (they stole all their designs) and Japanese labor was literally pennies to the dollar.

    In order for Harley to even come close to being competitive cost-wise, it had to deal with Showa, Keihin, & Nippondenso. But never forget it was disloyal Americans who created this situation. The MoCo simply did what it had to do to survive, as did all other domestic manufacturers. There were no Japanese parts on any Harleys until the second half of the Seventies.

    And in case you haven’t heard, it’s been years since Harleys came with Keihin carburetors.

    Concerning your joyful & triumphant reference to Harley’s recall, just type “Kawasaki recall” into Google and peruse the more than 92,000 entries. Or type “Honda recall” for 2,760,000 entries. Truth be told, many times more oriental motorcycles have been recalled than American motorcycles, and far more often.

    Concerning layoffs during a recession, what would be your solution? Keep paying employees to make more product than is needed? What, you didn’t hear about Honda closing entire factories? Yeah, you’re quite the business guru, BlacKawk.

    And finally, why do you refer to my bike as slow? Even weighing more than twice as much as your bike mine can easily outrun yours. Seriously, someone with a top speed of 105 shouldn’t throw stones.

    According to MotorcycleUSA’s review of the KLR650, “The power output of the Kawi can be best described as extremely tame. The liquid-cooled mill lacks any real punch, which makes it a bit mundane on the streets.”

    And according to Kelley Blue Book your bike’s retail value is $3,555 so I guess it’s not likely you’ll be in a position to badmouth Harleys from a personal experience standpoint any time soon. In other words, like most who disparage Harleys, your opinions will continue to be based on speculation and hearsay rather than actual firsthand knowledge.

  • Mark

    Come on Todd..I love Harleys, I’ve had one and I never met a bike I didnt like. But truth is a bear sometimes. Nobody markets better than Harley, nobody does fit, finish and cosmetics like Harley, except some of the exotics. Nobody does technology worse than Harley. Nothing wrong with the “newer”, post AMF HDs. But consider these points: My Goldwing was made in Ohio, by American workers and will not NEED the parts availability you brought up. 300K will not be unreasonable with regular care.
    I looked at and rode an Ultra Classic before buying my Wing. Great bike, but where is my other 45 hp for over 5K more? Sorry but the lifestyle is lost on me. I have been riding over 40 years and have met full patch outlaws that woukld be riding Wings if the club allowed it. Hells Angel founder Sonny B said basically the same thing.
    Finally, at least acknowledge this: Harley is no long all American, many foreign components are in there, and OUCH, Harley makes more profit selling apparel and accessories that are IMPORTED from China and Malaysia than they do selling bikes.
    PS;..just noticed the brag about you can outrun a KLR650? So what? Wanna match me on 1000 mile days, or even a short race for pinks? I somehow doubt it.
    Ride safe guy,TC

  • Mark, I guess you didn’t bother to read the message above yours. It’s actually your fault Harleys now contain foreign parts, not mine. I didn’t invest American dollars in Japan’s motorcycle industry, you did. I didn’t turn my back on American industry, you did.

    Concerning your Honda being assembled by Americans, while you consider that a point of pride I’m deeply, deeply ashamed that there are Americans reduced to working for the Japanese, with the fruits of their labor going straight to Tokyo. But again, you created that situation with your undying support for the Japanese, I didn’t.

    Concerning parts availability, yes, you will need parts and no, they won’t be available. You just haven’t accumulated any real miles yet. But why worry about that? You’ll just do what all owners of oriental bikes do, throw it away and buy another one.

    Your Gold Wing may be able to outrun some Harleys but at what cost? It’s unquestionably one ugly monstrosity of a motorcycle, a fact you can’t escape no matter how fast you ride. Sure, you don’t have to look at it but other motorists do.

    How ugly you ask? From the rear it looks like two Miatas humping.

  • Astro

    Todd – you are a tool.


    Todd- Reading your comments put a smile on my face. Well done!

  • 305ed

    @Todd8080 – It’s great to see an intelligent counterpoint to the sniveling that invariably follows any post on A&R related to Harley. Guys who’ve never ridden a Harley convert their envy into the oh-so-predictable bike and rider bashing. They prefer to rant about how Harley’s aren’t as tech as the latest and great sport bikes (last I checked the touring bikes had Brembo brakes, ABS, throttle by wire, etc…but I digress). They want to believe that a company that has absolutely pegged what its customers want will somehow shrivel up and die. What these clowns refuse to acknowledge is that Harley will continue to survive because it understands that the essence of motorcycling for its’ target demo is about the ride, not the quarter mile or screaming through the canyons. Harley will continue to dominate the cruiser and touring market because it builds high quality and highly desirable motorcycles.

  • Argie

    I love me some Harley, Just wish they would expand their lineup!

    I think they need to include smaller entry level bikes with all the tech one sees on any late model bike, a competent liquid cooled dual sport & also a couple liquid cooled touring model’s with zero vibration, zero noise & good rider protection.
    I think the company would benefit from that, and give more people what they want.
    Someday soon I’m moving up to heavy touring bike, and would love HD to have what I want, so I can support fellow American workers..