Jack Armstrong’s “Million Dollar Harley-Davidson” – Further Proof You Can’t Buy Taste

10/25/2010 @ 2:34 pm, by Jensen Beeler33 COMMENTS

I suffered through four semesters of art history classes in college (thanks general education requirements!) to realize two big things about art: 1) never date a painter or anyone that refers to themselves as an “artiste”, and 2) aesthetics are subjective, and should be internally processed. So with that intro in mind, I hope you’ll see where we’re headed in this article when I tell you that this custom Harley-Davidson comes from an artist who describes his style as “Cosmic Extensionalism”, name drops Any Warhol seemingly at any given opportunity, and boasts of fastly becoming “The Most Famous Artist on the Planet”. Mmmmk…

Further proof that money can’t buy you taste, this lightly modded Harley-Davidson Night Rod, looks like the wrong end of a huevos rancheros breakfast special at Denny’s, which makes the $1,000,000 asking price seem more like a desperate cry for attention than an actual representation of the piece’s worth. The video below seems to support this theory, but if you disagree, I refer you to my two previously mentioned big takeaways regarding art found above.

Source: Jack Armstrong via NDTV via Two Wheels Blog

  • MrBlistershifter

    What a joke !

  • Glenn

    If any one pays more than half of the retail price for this bike, they should be outed as complete knuckleheads.

  • Woody

    *puts orange-red loofah and $200 exhaust on bike, paints up in tacky flame job*

    Art. One million dollars please.

  • gnmac

    Well, maybe if I was on a truckload of illegal drugs too I’d think this piece of shit was as awesome as Armstrong does… Go find a real job jackass!

  • Ades

    That Jack Armstrong…. He’s so hot right now…..

  • Andrey

    What a gigantic jerk off.
    “go all over the world tomorrow mourning” (my spelling!!!!) talk about a dreamer. He is obviously a legend in his own mind.
    A million dollars! what a dick head!

  • Eli

    Hmm. LEDs and a flame paintjob. Gee, where have I seen that before… And by… Jack Armstrong? Who? Even wikipedia lacks an entry on him. That’s the limit of my curiosity of the guy.

  • RGR


    What am I missing here? I wouldn’t give him $10k for that fugly POS.

  • DesignGuy

    This guy and his fans must be drinking some crazy kool-aid. Name dropping wally that references his own name 10 times on his home page. This sensationalism BS is usually short lived. Stop reporting on rubbish like this.

  • Bjorn

    It’s important to view this not as a motorcycle but as a piece of art.

    As a motorcycle it can simply be regarded as a garish, overdone (if that’s not a tautology) custom motorcycle, created by a talentless, self promoting hack. But when viewed as a piece of art it can be seen to be a garish, overdone custom motorcycle, created by a talentless, self promoting hack with his head so far up his own arse that it’s a miracle he can draw breath, let alone create such pathetic shit.
    All of those sycophantic turds in the video milling around that ‘artiste’ and his abomination should be maced as a lesson in aesthetics.

    Of course you could argue all great art is controversial.

  • Buster

    Where is the freighter loaded with shipping crates from China, the 3oo lactating monkeys and the 15 young boys living in the slave trade that goes with the deal?

  • Isaac

    I think $20 bucks should cover the price of that bike. Or perhaps some really dark welders glasses so you don’t have to see the hiteousness of this monstrocity.

  • Johndo

    Saying it’s worth 1 million $ is easy to do. Finding someone stupid enough to by that BS, is another story.

  • Monk

    I wonder if he’ll trade me for my $2,000,000 Ducati Monster. It’s got a custom paint job too.

  • irksome

    “Oh, you’re an ARTIST…”

    That still doesn’t explain the friggin’ pom-pom.

  • Dr. Gellar

    Why would anyone go out and ruin a good Night Rod Special like this?!? Hhaha…and why are we even commenting on this junk in the first place?!?

  • http://www.ridingman.com Mark Gardiner

    Well, now that the Teutels have split up, who WILL make a motorcycle for Paris Hilton? Eh?

  • Ren-jr.

    This is utterly ridiculous. For this douche-nozzle to come out with his “best artist in the world” and “used to paint with Andy Warhol” and actually gather attention is the most disturbing part. The Harley with the trashy paint job I’m totally used to though. Seems to be par for the course…

    Fucking clown shoes…

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  • 76

    I have a book with Andy Warhol in it & I just spray painted my my old mountain bike “graffiti style”. $200,000 takes it. I personally find it very gratifying making art more affordable.

  • Doctor Jelly

    You would figure for a million+ he could at least finish the job… The louvers (though I guess they’re not louvers any more) behind the steering head aren’t even painted!

  • Will

    Shame on you a&r for posting this crap, I want the 5 minutes of my life back. And shame on me for reading it and watching the video. Lorenzo lamas looked so cool on it. Celebrities are right behind lawyers.

  • Prich

    Oh My God. I want to stab this guy.

  • Tom

    Hey, Harley needs all the help it can get. After all, its third quarter sales are tanking…..


    I see that HD keeps championing being the sales leader in large bikes which is a diminishing category with absolutely nothing else whatsoever to offer. So yes, this bike is garish but someone bought a HD bike and that’s damned important for them right now.

  • I was like BAM!

    Dang the thing is tight! I can just imagine throwin’ out the vibe and reeling in the ladies with that piece of hardware! It would be like an extension of my you know what ;)

    I wonder if he would take an I O U?

  • Edward Kimmons

    This proves people are choking on the media’s dick. If u like it, YOU PROBABLY DO NEED AN EXTENSION FOR YOUR “YOU KNOW WHAT”… Anyone with a box of crayons can make this ugly piece of shit. There is no artistic merit at all. And i was hoping the douche bag fell off the bike while posing.

  • patron

    Done! Purchased. I’m currently loading it onto my boat to be dropped to the bottom of the ocean. This bike has already hurt too many people.

  • Jake Fox

    How much to have this guy tortured? It’s gotta be a lot less than a million. I wouldn’t want him killed though, it’d make him all too happy to be a martyred artist.

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  • Odie

    A real artist who’s canvas is the motorcycle create things like the Ducati 916 and the MV Agusta F4. His name is Massimo Tamburin. Not some twit who had too much crack and decided to get “crafty” and polish a turd.
    I’m not sure if I am insulting Massimo by even bringing his name up in this context.

  • Skipper

    The first mistake was using a piece of shit Harley.

  • pdub

    I propose a piece of performance art to go with this.
    I will, while wearing a turtleneck and Andy Warhol wig:

    -clasp this “artiste’s” ankles in gold plated shackles which will be secured to a giant size 10,000lb marble sculptural facsimile of a healthy dogpile.
    -connect said “artiste’s” neck to a hard mount point of his Harley’s frame with a similarly gold plated case hardened coil of chain and collar.
    -mount the art Harley and proceed in a direction away from artiste and marble dogpile by means of rolling burnout until coil of chain extends to perfect straight line then snaps back to abstract resting shape once artistes head has escaped from his body and gone bouncing down the road like an errant soccer ball.
    -circle around to former artiste’s carcass and dispense it’s liquid media onto dogpile sculpture with the art Harley’s rear tire with further manipulations of front brake and throttle.

    Christen offal dripping, marble dogpile sculpture as the artiste’s final work and submit it for bidding.

  • http://asphaltandrubber.com jj

    Pollock Of S#!t