Erik Buell Racing Acquired by the Flying Spaghetti Monster

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Social media and some assorted motorcycle news websites (first here, and now here) are feverishly reporting that Erik Buell Racing has been out-right acquired by Hero MotoCorp, during the company’s receivership auction, thus confirming the wet-dream conspiracy theories of Buellistas around the world.

The report was first started by the stalwart news source, and was then elevated quickly into the realm of semi-truthfulness by a bevy of other news outlets.

Sources close to Buell and Erik Buell Racing have since come forward and discrediting the report, calling the story a complete fabrication. Meanwhile, Hero MotoCorp stock has risen 0.50% on the news.

With the journalistic bar now set so low, Asphalt & Rubber feels comfortable reporting that there is indeed a new owner for Erik Buell Racing, but it is not Hero MotoCorp, but instead the Flying Spaghetti Monster — deity to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

His Noodiliness is quoted as being excited to take the helm of EBR, and steer the company once again toward success with His Noodly Appendage.

The Pastafarian church has long been a fan of EBR, drawn to the company’s unique and rabid following of motorcyclists, who will now follow Eric Buell (name misspelled for authenticity) into Church of FSM’s warm spaghetti embrace.

Fortune and support will once again flow for Erik Buell Racing, just like marinara sauce from The Holy Classico Can. Praise parmesan!

All hail the might Flying Spaghetti Monster! We obey our Noodly Master, who boiled for our sins!

Source: Completely Fabricated