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Motorcycling’s April Fools Round-Up for 2018

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Another year, and another April Fools Day is done and dusted. I am fairly certain that for journalists, April 1st is better than Christmas, as it marks the one day where media outlets make the news they wish they could report on daily. And as usual, the imaginations of the motorcycle media pool didn’t fail to disappoint.

My colleague David Emmett had a nicely done story about the MotoGP World Championship, and the ever increasing high-stakes game that is the rider contract Silly Season.

An expertly crafted April Fools story, perhaps the biggest disappointment from David’s piece is that we must now knowingly live in a world where “Racing with the Stars” isn’t a show we can watch on TV. I know my life will be the lesser because of it.

For my own part, I took advantage of the long-con approach, and fit a story into our ongoing series about the upcoming Suzuki Hayabusa, which seems to have no shortage of weekly rumors about this bike’s supposed features and technical specifications.

All I’m going to say is that “Drag Busa” rolls right off the tongue, and an extendable rear swingarm would be “tyt” with the Busa’s core demographic. Hopefully someone in Hamamatsu is listening.

How about from the rest of the industry though? In case you missed them, the highlights of April Fools Day are after the jump.

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News

Motorcycling’s April Fools Round-Up for 2017

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Another year, and another April Fools Day is done and dusted. I am fairly certain that for journalists, April 1st is better than Christmas, as it marks the one day where media outlets make the news the wish they could report on daily. And as usual, the imaginations of the motorcycle media pool didn’t fail to disappoint.

My colleague David Emmett had a timely story about the Losail International Circuit in Qatar, which hosted a nearly rained-out Qatar GP a couple weeks ago. As such, his piece focused on improvements Losail could make for inclement weather, namely a radiant heating system below the asphalt. It’s so crazy, it just might work.

If you were confused by our WorldSBK coverage on Saturday, that’s because our man Kent Brockman had some fun with the race results and his debrief report, changing the names of all of the riders to “Jonathan Rea” as a nod to the Northern Irishman’s dominance so far in the Championship. Those results are now correct, by the way.

Of course you know I can’t pass up some love on April Fools, so we ran two stories. The first one was about Ducati’s new “Quattrofromagi” superbike – I owe the idea to my fellow Two Enthusiasts Podcast host Quentin Wilson, so of course it was a pretty cheesy story.

My other story included Aprilia, and how the Italian brand’s bag of well-lettered motorcycles are helping kids to learn and read good. As some noted in the comments, the idea of a motorcycle brand product-placing in a show like Sesame Street isn’t a bad idea. I make no apologies for my Michael Jackson savagery, however.

How about from the rest of the industry though? In case you missed them, the highlights of April Fools Day are after the jump.

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News

The Motorcycle Industry’s Very Best April Fools Jokes

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Another year, and another April Fools Day is in the bag. I am fairly certain that for journalists, April 1st is better than Christmas, as it marks the one day where media outlets make the news the wish they could report on daily. And as usual, the imaginations of the motorcycle media pool didn’t fail to disappoint.

As usual, David had a timely piece on MotoGP adopting regulations that govern aerodynamics, namely that a spec-winglet shape would be entering into racing starting in 2017. The Grand Prix Commission has already banned winglets in Moto2 and Moto3 for next season, so there was some precedent already for this story.

Less of a product review, and more of a satirical rant that focused on that guy at your next track day, we ran a story about the Dainese “D-Bag” luggage. The bags are made by Ogio, and are actually very good. I have two Ogio Rig 9800 bags, for some reason, and would highly recommend them or Dainese’s branded version.

Our last April Fools story was about Honda patenting a three-stroke engine design, which seemed to be very popular and catch more than a couple readers unaware. There is such a thing as a three-stroke engine…sort of…you can read its description here, but don’t expect Big Red to adopt the design any time soon.

How about from the rest of the industry though? In case you missed them, the highlights of April Fools Day are after the jump.

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MotoGP

April Fools: Spec Winglets to be Mandatory in MotoGP

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Winglets are to be made compulsory in MotoGP from 2017, we can exclusively reveal, using a spec design to be implemented much along the lines of the current unified software introduced this year in the premier class.

The decision was taken in response to concerns over costs spiraling out of control should all of the factories become engaged in a winglet war.

The marginal gains to be had from increased spending on CFD computer modeling and wind tunnel work were a red flag for Dorna, who have spent the last seven seasons since the start of the Global Financial Crisis tweaking the rules to reduce costs and raise grid numbers.

With the grid now healthy, and set to rise to 24 in 2017, Dorna and the FIM feared all their hard work could be undone, and teams would once again be forced out of racing by rising costs.

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Lifestyle

PSA: For the Love of Motorcycling, Don’t Taste Your Fluids

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One of the more amusing stories I think we’ve ever come across in A&R history, a Reddit user published his/her account of having a mystery fluid leak on their Suzuki V-Strom (shown above).

Unable to initially identify the fluid that was leaking down their forks, brakes, and front tire, our protagonist did the only logical method left to them: guess and check.

Tasting the fluid they found on their garage floor, and comparing it to the various “jus de vie” that make a motorcycle come to life, this Goldilocks of motorcycling was puzzled…nothing quite seemed right to their tongue.

The whole story, especially its ending, is perhaps best left to the original account on Reddit. But just so we’re clear…for the love of everything that’s holy, don’t taste the fluids on your motorcycle. It’s never a good idea.

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News

2015 April Fools Motorcycle Pranks Round-Up

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Another year, and another April Fools Day is in the bag. I am fairly certain that for journalists, April 1st is better than Christmas, as it marks the one day where media outlets make the news the wish they could report on daily. And as usual, the imaginations of the motorcycle media pool didn’t fail to disappoint.

David had a timely piece on Dani Pedrosa going back to Moto3 with KTM, in order to win his fourth championship. Drawing on the Spaniard’s recent news about having severe arm-pump and needing to take a break from racing — the story caught out more than a few readers.

For those of us still working on our 2014 tax returns, and have deductions on the brain, we ran a story that the IRS would be allowing tax deductions, up to $500, on new helmet purchases — something we wouldn’t mind having occur in reality.

Our last story for the day on A&R was about Honda on the verge of releasing an autonomous motorcycle for the mainstream, a story we hope won’t come to reality for a very, very, very long time — if not ever.

How about from the rest of the industry though? In case you missed them, the highlights of April Fools Day are after the jump.

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Banter

2014 April Fools Motorcycle Pranks Round-Up

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Another year, and another April Fools Day is in the bag. I am fairly certain that for journalists, April 1st is better than Christmas Day, as it marks the one day where media outlets make the news the wish they could report on daily. And as usual, the imaginations of the motorcycle media pool didn’t fail to disappoint.

David had a wonderful timely piece on Red Bull acquiring the media rights to the MotoGP Championship, ousting Dorna from its position as Bridgepoint Capital cashed out its position. Red Bull has of course had its own issues in the Formula One Championship, and with energy drinks being the new tobacco, the premise was at least plausible.

Speaking of tobacco, we also ran a story about California mandating tabacco-style warning labels for motorcycles, a nod to our more libertarian readers and their growing concerns of “freedom” on two-wheels. Thankfully this story was a complete fabrication and not grounded in any truth, though maybe unfortunately for some, so was David’s piece as well.

How about from the rest of the industry though? In case you missed them, the highlights of April Fools Day are after the jump.

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Banter

2013 April Fools Motorcycle Pranks Round-Up

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April 1st is our most-favorite day of the year, as it is the Christmas Day for journalists far and wide — and like Christmas, it is better to give, than it is to receive. The motorcycle industry gives plenty on this day, and we thought we’d share with you the April Foolery that caught our attention this most glorious of days.

Here at Asphalt & Rubber, David’s fiction on the upcoming changes to the World Superbike Championship reigned supreme, and the bit about adventure-touring bikes replacing the World Supersport series was especially amusing.

We also got some interesting texts, emails, and comments about BRD’s new fund-raising plan, as well as the AMA Pro Racing’s supposed homologation of the Aprilia RSV4 Factory for supersport racing. We assure you that while they may mimic something close to what is possible in reality, neither stories are true…as far as we know.

How about from the rest of the industry though? In case you missed them, the highlights of April Fools Day are after the jump.

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News

A&R’s April Fools Round-Up

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If it hasn’t become apparent by now, we love us some April Fools here at Asphalt & Rubber, because like Christmas, the real joy in the holiday isn’t in the act of receiving, but in the act of giving. It’s perhaps at this time of year where the media side of the motorcycle industry reaches its zenith of creativity, producing eloquent prose, perfect press releases, and some of the most superb photo re-touches we’ve ever seen. We have in fact many maestros in our presence, and we wanted to share our Top 3 picks of the days festivities.

And our role in all this? Well we’re firm believers in the idea that if you’re going to do something wrong, then it’s best to do it right. Instead of trying to fabricate a story or two, and then convince you that they were real (that’s so 2010 by the way), we decided to switch things up and publish two stories (here & here) that we knew to be fundamentally true, and convince you that they were in fact fake. April Fools.

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Banter

Nicky Hayden’s Ducati Diavel Concept

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Are you one of the loyal Ducatisti who is not so crazy about the new Ducati Diavel? Don’t worry, because Nicky Hayden feels your pain, and went as far as to create his own concept bike for Ducati’s newly released performance cruiser. Based off the 800cc V4 motor of the Ducati Desmosedici GP10, Hayden’s low-riding two-wheeled vision uses an all carbon frame, Öhlins suspension, and Brembo monoblocs.

It also comes fitted stock with Bridgestone’s top-of-the-line performance tires, and has numerous carbon fiber bits and pieces, not to mention traction control, launch control, wheelie control, but no ABS. Available only in Rosso Corsa for now, we hear a one-off limited edition white paint scheme may also be available later next year. No word on price, but the above model comes slightly used.

Source: Alex Hofmann (Twitter) via Ducati News Today

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Racing

Hayden Looking Forward to ‘Taking Rossi Under His Wing’

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There is a reason why Nicky Hayden is rapidly becoming one of our favorite riders in the MotoGP paddock (behind Randy de Puniet of course). The Kentucky Kid always tells it how he sees it, is constantly up-beat, and is perhaps one of the most personable riders in the sport, often cracking jokes and egging-on the journalists during press conferences and rider debriefs.

It therefore comes with no surprise that Hayden brought his A-material to Thursday’s press conference in Valencia for MotoGP’s last stop on the 2010 calendar. When asked about his thoughts on joining Valentino Rossi as a teammate again on Tuesday for the 2011 season (Hayden and Rossi were teammates during 2003 with the Repsol Honda team), Hayden was quick with his wit in his response to their reunion at Ducati Corse.

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